My 12wbt Round 1 2011 goal

Friday, May 27, 2011

Reading Shrinking Kath's blog and it got me to thinking

So our Kath says she lost the plot a bit, made bad choices and didn't have her head in the game and it rang out loud in my head YOU ARE NOT ALONE! So for this I am gratful ShrinkingKath. I am not alone. And my head is still not in the game and I keep saying 'tomorrow' but it doesn't happen. Because tomorrow is today and I feel like shite! Headache, runny nose, sore throat and hence no excercise even though yesterday I was so sure tomorrow would be the day. Yesterday saw two chocolate bars and four icecreams..............what the fuck is going on??? Why have I started to hurt me in the name of stress relief? Anyone, someone? and there is added pressure of being a good 12wbt role model, and I love this program and I have gone from a size 26 to size 12 with over 50kilos lost so why the problem NOW???? Why in the last five kilos is this so bloody hard on my head?

Now what I would like to do is explain how stressful my life is....thats what I want to do but in all honesty is that ok or is that my excuse for some bloody stupid choices. It is an excuse. Why suddenly if I am stressed is it now ok to poison my system with fat fat and more damn fat. Forget the carbs and sugar because the fat content in these foods is exactly the kind of thing I dont want in my life (what until life gets stressful???)

The thing here is that eating these foods is causing more stress and not exercising is doing the same thing. Who will find out, what will people think, why do I hate myself so much, didn't anyone see, dont tell! Is this like binge eating gone insane? Why am I sabotaging the life and body I want? Stress, are you kidding. There has to be a better way. In fact, the walk to the vending machine should now be changed to a walk up and down the stairwell! Maybe even into the sunlight out of an office. And when I walk now people do look, yes I am more interesting skinny than fat and I always thought it was the other way around.

So what will be my excuse today..........oh yes, a 30k hike tomorrow, surely I need to load up on carbs??? NOT.

I wish someone else lived inside my head telling me to literally 'pull my head in'.

OK, stop with the bloody whingy excuses. Life is tough, the job is tough but I dont want to tackle life, job, kids in an overweight and unhealthy body because that makes things a damn site tougher. Time to respect myself more.

Michelle Bridges, I do beleive I should listen to you! LOL, that is a given.

No comments:

Post a Comment