My 12wbt Round 1 2011 goal

Thursday, February 24, 2011

what happened to weigh in day?

You would think that if I lost weight on weigh in day I would want to get on here and tell all how good that feels. Make no mistake a loss of 1.1kg in a week does feel good. It is the right direction, it takes me back to my finishing point last round at 79kg and, being below 80kg, is a very good feeling. I am happy about it make no mistake.

So why not get on here, or the forums, or facebook or the telephone and why eat a third of a tub of frozen yoghurt. Why do that after a low calorie day which was less than a 1000 cals at that point. Why didn't I exercise? Why do the wheels feel like they are falling off? Becuase depression bites and the meds are making me an insomniac and getting up is hard and I feel heavy and tired all damn day. so I went to bed early in the hopes I would get up and work out.

I am finding the whole idea of the advanced program a little complicated to manage right now. An excuse yes but I really just needed to run this morning no matter what the program said. Running is a no brainer, you just get out there and run, no counting sets, no order or sequence of exercises,just running to music which speeds you up and slows you down and one minute you are sprinting and the next jogging and the heart rates goes up, comes down, spikes, comes down but always hovers on that magic 150 beats a minute, that magic calorie buring, fat reducing beat. And that is who I am, I am a runner who still feels fat and would run forever if I could because it makes me feel good about myself. So I want to feel good about myself, I want to run.

The anti-depressants are making me tired and unable to sleep. But I was not hungry, I didn't overeat. Had my lovely oats with blueberries this morning, grapes for morning tea, salad from last night with added tuna for lunch and hubby made the brocolli bake tonight. Delicous (with left overs for tomorrow lunch). This is a good food day. Yes there was a black coffee, two pepsi maxs and one coke zero and a herbal tea in there and a litre or more of water. The drinks may need improvement but I need some caffine if I am to keep working feeling this tired. Diet drinks may not be great but I am forgiving myself. Chocolate is worse? Possibly.

So a long day at work, a run this morning, clean eating and doing weights while in the squat position for about half an hour this evening has nackered my thighs, then some crunches (but on the couch just cause). I reckon that was a good 12wbt day. Come on 68kg!!!! Depression is not going to stop me from getting there, I cannot let it.

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